If you're used to calling the shots, a control freak, captured by the illusion of independence, then spiritual progress, which is a process of softening, will always be difficult, painful, an affront to the ego. This is because ego inverts natural values – what is felt to be good is in fact bad and vice versa. We are not suggesting that you become perverse enough to worship what feels bad – become addicted to suffering – but at least be suspicious of what you feel and question the values you place on those feelings.