16.1.19


When my son was a little boy we once walked past a pub in Camden. Max stopped, peered inside and then announced:
"Dad, when I'm older, I'm going to drink beer, smoke cigarettes and eat meat!"
"That's fine Max," I replied, "when you leave home you can do whatever you want."
I sensed a moment of panic, after which he said:
"Oh no dad, I'm always going to live with mummy!"


We want to change, at least in theory, but we also want that change on our own terms – we want to be designers of our own destinies. But this misses the point of change. Real change changes everything; if you change then you're different on all levels. Superficial change (what I call a change of scenery or rearranging the furniture) is actually a way of alleviating the pressure for real change. It allows you to appear to change, and yet remain exactly the same.
Root develops by coupling sinking and turning with spirit.

15.1.19

Promising, commitment and fidelity are genuinely temporal practices. They bind the future by continuing the present into the future and linking the two, thus creating a stabilizing temporal continuity.

The problem with religion is that so often God gets lost in the trappings.

Sinking, on its own, does not develop a root. Your own mass is not enough to get through the legs and into the ground. But just imagine you had to spring up from the ground suddenly: the explosive thrust down required. That is the proverbial 'tiger ready to pounce': the spirit required for a root. Because a root is as spiritual as it is physical.
Good teaching always contradicts itself. This is because no system is ever complete.

14.1.19

Whenever pressed for an explanation, is all I know is, that's not it.

13.1.19

Learning to see in the dark. Nyctophilia. Feeling your way around.

Contrary, as a matter of principle.
I was never more alive or alone.

12.1.19

Ego and energy are mutually exclusive. Bending the legs introduces energy. The student rarely feels this. So this the work: developing a feeling for energy.
Gainsay totalitarian normality.
When filled with love for God, in other words, love of God, then we become natural as a tree or a brook or a bird. If they can believe then it's the least we can do.

If there were no edges then there'd be nothing to soften.

To live each moment with heartfelt gratitude. This is the real meaning of gravity. The impulse, which lifts the heart, also drives down into the legs. Like a bird sinking to take flight.

11.1.19

Hidden from sight. Occult.
A commitment neither to self nor to other, but to the fissure.