to bear the consequences which a pure act always involves

Henry Miller

The good teacher, above all, inspires the student to practice. This requires a degree of trickery on his part, and a degree of gullibility on the student's part. If the student knew at the beginning how painful and arduous the task was then he'd run a mile.

Taiji is all about connexion, and through that connexion – which is always beyond the self – becoming something other. We are realists because we acknowledge whatever is to be connected to as more objectively real than ourselves: the ground beneath our feet, the stars above our head, the moment we inhabit, the other before us in all their unfathomable mystery – we can rely upon them all to be themselves in an honest uncomplicated way, far more than we can rely upon our own subjectivity, with all its vacillations and vicissitudes. Our difficulty then is to connect and become – to courageously take that uncharted path – rather than dwell in our own thoughts and feelings. Most energy work connects long enough to have a feeling and then disconnects in order to indulge that feeling. Any feeling is a retreat from the connexion back into self – an interiorization – which is why in taiji we emphasise forward, forward, forward – never back and never settling into equilibrium (despite our interest in central equilibrium). The energy of forward – spirit – is also the energy of connexion, and is always upsetting the established order to create anew. As my teacher would stress, true equilibrium is not a state but a deepening process – always moving, always shifting, to find new terrain and new becoming.

inscribe yourself as long practice

True sanity entails in one way or another the dissolution of the normal ego.

a journey strangely stationary, in place

But it is a relief to get away from one's condition and see it the bizarre oddity it actually is to other persons.

Writing (or speaking), far from being an act of creation, is really an act of erasure – one writes to rid oneself of thoughts and feelings, knowing that if they can be expressed in words then they are pale and rather pathetic shadows of anything remotely real. We must ensure that reading (or listening) is much the same – ephemeral – so that what lasts – what becomes permanent – is not the words but the energy – not the external but the internal.

A man writes to throw off the poison which he has accumulated because of his false way of life. No man would set a word down on paper if he had the courage to live out what he believed in.

the glaring, sober truth that resides in delirium

In taiji we search for complete stillness, which is a place more than a state, and which is found by abandoning oneself completely to movement.

A schizophrenic out for a stroll is a better model than a neurotic lying on a couch.

The function of the mind in taiji is not, we have by now established, to think, that is to create its own artificial reality, but to create a stable and relaxed space for the manifold dimensions that make up the adept to open up and energetically engage. The principle dimensions are those of the three main energy centres – belly, heart, head. The heart – centre of connexion with the other – requires my arms to spring into ward-off in order to activate – that is my elbows spring up and out, my upper back is plucked up and my head sinks a little into my shoulders – the feeling is one of slightly crazed readiness and expectation. The belly – centre of connexion with my own power – requires that my elbows sink into my lower spine, pushing it forward and down, causing the shoulders to drop – the feeling is one of icy cold, ruthless – almost mean – focused detachment. The head – centre for non-worldly (spiritual) connexion – requires my neck to be relaxed, my head to be as though suspended from above, and my attention in the occiput (where spine inserts into brain) – the feeling is one of delirious out-of-time-ness where every time and every experience is available to be felt and accessed. Clearly the requirements of these three realities contradict each other – I cannot think their superimposition. So instead the mind creates a benevolent space expansive and open enough to allow these three (and in fact many more) dimensions to function together. This is a matter of heart and compassion and this is why we call true mind heart-mind and false mind thinking-mind.

The spirit of staying; and therein this changing.

No time to lose.

Spirit relishes adversity.

We feel everything yet nothing moves us – no emotion.