Destiny

Letter to a student

Destiny, if you like, is some special task that you have in this life.
It's what will make your life meaningful.
Real life.
But what are you?
Spirit & essence smothered in conditioning & fear (ego).
For destiny to be revealed you need to access your spirit & essence.
This is spiritual work.
Spiritual work is any endeavour that helps peel away the ego so that you can better join with the natural process.
Spirit & essence are then seen to be aspects of the divine.
Destiny is the divine expressing itself through you in a meaningfully unfolding life.

As an individual you shouldn't concern yourself with notions of destiny.
You simply need to engage in spiritual work (Tai Chi) with spiritual partners under the guidance of a spiritual teacher.
Destiny will unfold because of this (and maybe even despite it).

So far the most significant step you have taken along the path of your destiny is to start studying Tai Chi.
Is all you have to do now is continue.
This requires great courage & great sacrifice.
One of the realisations you need to come to in order to progress is that your teacher knows you better than you know yourself.
Your teacher can always pinpoint what you need to work on.
It is the teacher's job to gently edge you in the right direction.
If she is too firm or brutal you will run away & never come back.
And remember - the bird of freedom only flies past once: if you don't catch it, then your destiny is lost.

Spiritual progress can seem impossible, especially if it requires the tackling of your physical quirks.
How do you relax your tight & asthmatic chest which is so obviously blocking your ability to connect?
The only way is through persistent adherence to the principles of Tai Chi.
You can only persistently adhere if, deep down, you believe.
And I don't mean believing in something. I simply mean believing - to be in an actively unfolding process of ever deepening connection.
Only people with heart can do this.
(Surprisingly not everyone seems to have heart - or not enough to break through the hard shell of self. They are what the Tao Te Ching calls poor students.)
You have heart in abundance, which will be your saving grace.
The problem with an abundance of heart is that it will be easily distracted.
These distractions will continue until your chest relaxes and your energy sinks.
In the meantime my advice would be to establish a Rule for yourself, rather like a monastic Rule:

Diet - vegan, sugar free, plenty of fruit, plenty of protein (tofu etc).
Solo practice - morning & evening.
Meditation - a little every day.
Partner work - as often as possible.
Rest - sleep/rest at least 8 hours daily.
Drugs - none.
Sex - only as part of a loving relationship with someone you feel really comfortable with & who unconditionally supports (i.e. joins in with) your spiritual endeavours (if you find someone let me know if she has a sister).

Your speed of progress is a measure of your ability to apply yourself to the task at hand.
It is also somewhat irrelevant at this stage.
It's not until you reach an age between 36 & 40 that you realise your time is limited.
Then you may buckle down with a vengeance.
Until then just continue with your simple Rule (try to break it only once a week).