mindfulness prevents habits becoming habitual

out of the morass that distorts human nature

ego the morass

back to basics 

an endless ongoing process

spirit confounds expectation

poetry as symbol of absolute refinement

spirit as essence of suddenly

no going back

relax the brain – emptying of thoughts, filling with energy, expanding inside the skull

taiji (the way it was taught me) is good for the soul & spirit but bad for the ego 

so there will be part of you that likes it and part of you that feels threatened by it – a love hate relationship 

this is why there is so much mediocrity in a taiji class and in each individual student 

the long process of becoming a good student starts when you decide to switch allegiance from ego to spirit

we're all a little cowardy custard otherwise we'd be enlightened

tread carefully

nothing threatens the ego like energy

whilst the ego is in control, death, as passage rather than mere perishing, is unavailable

this is why the priest says the last rites – it gives permission to let go of the ego and allow death in

relax the head – jaw jowls palate eyes nostrils tongue eyelids brow scalp temples mouth brain – all soften swell and let go

feel a little woozy? you'll get used to it

we think the ego holds onto us but we very much hold onto the ego

spirit an unbearable lightness

how can i get into energy? 

mmm, don't worry, you wouldn't like it 

to get into energy and begin to feel, the student must let go and stop being such a control freak 

imagine a mild drug trip 

now sit, relax the mind and induce such a trip without taking any substance 

if you can do this even a little then energy is available to you

Solitude is an ancient beast 

hiding in my jagged rock heart

if you insist on wasting your precious energy rushing around then you will never get anywhere

the electricity in a kiss

a world of pampered egos

the taiji class provides points of practice – something to work on at home

to sit comfortably with your thoughts first requires seeing that there's a sense in which they're not real

with practice you change and the repetitive drone of the teacher sounds somehow fresh & different

without practice you quickly get bored

the good student has the gravitas to practice and the levitas (humour) to see through the ego 

these qualities cannot be taught

we're at our ugliest when getting our own way

melt into movement

humanity’s problems stem from man’s inability to sit quietly in a room alone

the work must get done but never against the grain

forget self & become one with the dao 

if you find a better encapsulation of the work then let me know

you cannot learn taiji without becoming a better person  

soft tolerant compassionate respectful generous gracious courageous humble patient persevering loyal faithful 

to develop any of these you must sacrifice part of the self that you hold dear 

this will always be difficult if not downright painful

if you cannot be quiet & still then depth will always elude you

We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.

everything natural has life 

everything artificial has a travesty of life : like an automaton or frankenstein's monster

become obsessed with anything but yourself

mind in dantien 

because this is where it belongs

clotted with self 

a phrase my teacher coined to describe someone too self-engrossed to feel energy 

nowadays it applies to most

Social media constitutes an absolute zero grade of the social.

when the bourgeoisie don't get their own way then they throw indignant tantrums

if that doesn't work then they get nasty

when ego stands in for spirit we become poor

flog the body with the spirit but never flog the spirit with the body

learn to change your mind 

a bit like changing a nappy

Being-human means being-connected to Others.

if the work must get done regardless then you may as well enjoy it 

this takes maturity

when you smile your energy improves 

a simple fact of life

the poor student mocks the teaching by refusing to practise

at least 25% of mind stays with dantien

The violence of the Same is invisible because of its positivity.

i reach god through the other and i reach the other through god 

life tackles this conundrum

the other person reminds me who i really am 

without their physical touch i remain trapped in my own little world

time is running out

let go of your way and adopt the teacher's way 

we think we do this but we don't, not really

If I am in good shape then when the opponent comes near I do not act upon him but take advantage of his momentum to find a way in.

meditation – time becomes space, space becomes time

listen with your energy

thinking takes time and inhibits listening spontaneity response

holding on to dantien and letting go of spirit at the same time

It isn’t talent. It’s continuing.

the best way to keep a secret is to tell everyone

liquid movement

let life shape digest age you – it will anyway so why resist

poetry uses language to evoke a world beyond language

innate primal energy gradually fades and acquired energy grows in its place

become a saint – possessed by god

ego is terrified by emptiness so fills everything with itself

cool fresh air through the bars
thankful for small mercies

expand your context

abandon notions of human exceptionalism

mastery is an initiation into lightness

losing oneself in the vastness of the bigger picture

a master approaches the work gently respectfully

a light touch – just a whisper

losing oneself in the minutiae of the moment

and the ship glides unperturbed 

into a world where nothing is left but water,

air, and the uncertain space between

bring the mind to bear 

& dont give up

the work improves concentration and dulls conversation

softness is feeling circles everywhere

mastery is a slow dawning 

before & after like night & day

by thinking we can become ignorant

the work goes round in circles, endlessly repeating itself 

more about maturity than progress, wisdom than knowledge

withdraw the self so your energy can appear

energy and self are mutually excluding

what's bad for humans is good for the planet and vice versa

a being that coincides with itself almost entirely

The practice of this art lies in sinking energy to the dantien and in purely using spirit to move.

If a cosmology is a set of assumptions, beliefs, understandings that help one live in meaningful harmony with the cosmos, then the cosmology of our civilisation is a terrible failure.

Sinking into energy is a natural consequence of withdrawing from the world.

Drunk on energy.

gone to earth

Softness expands the present.

i must discover myself & discard myself

as if for the first time

the worst thing for spirit is distraction

until the time is right

Modern technology moves the human being away from the earth.

We cling to self as we would a lifeline, yet it is the one thing holding us back from life. Relax: let go the grip on self, and sink into energy.

a mind broad enough to sense the fleeting insignificance of humanity

the space outside of space

a radical humility

delve deeply into the training and let yourself become captivated by it

i dare not become complacent

life is the interplay of yin and yang
death the separation of yin and yang

if we felt the hurt and harm we caused imagine what better people we'd become

how to leave things better than i found them

Time begins to emit a scent when it gains duration; when it is given a narrative or deep tension; when it gains depth and breadth, even space.

most of our work is solitary yet the test of truth is always with an other and that test is not how well we connect but how well that connexion brings us closer to god

contemplative lingering

the gravity of the real

the levity of the imaginary

ally mind with heaviness and heart with lightness

our steady state of distracted connectedness

Given that you have Taiji (discipline: Form + practice) then it doesn't take long to discover your thing, a point of intrigue within the work that gradually becomes an obsession. If you follow through (responsibility) then life accumulates meaning. Soul.

nothing to fear but fear itself

Meditation: spinning a thread of golden time.

between force and energy there is a world of difference

We humans have altogether lost the sense of the right time.

Depression is the result of repressing the Other within – spirit.

meditation: stretching a moment

cultivate a still body – one which moves only when spirit intends that movement

For the musician there is a world of difference between practising for an event and performing at an event. To perform well they must be well-prepared – well-practised – but they must also be what musicians call gig-fit – they must be able to let go and throw themselves into the public event of performance. They must be able to communicate.

we make our technologies and they remake us in their image and for their purposes

We desperately claim membership to an erroneous metaphysic: a separate subject observing a world of objects. Most of our vitality is spent clinging to this.

If you get into a fight, pray it happens so fast you don't have time to think. A well-known saying in the martial arts where thinking is considered the death of speed, spontaneity and instinctive action.

technology comes with an onslaught of unintended consequences

The Taiji Form is our way of slipping out of mind and into energy, into otherness. There is a sense that it contains an unfathomable wisdom that we tap into unknowingly – unwantonly – each time we perform it. It becomes the teacher, subtly working on our energy, aligning it with the lineage and allowing us to absorb its secrets. These are real secrets – secrets that remain unspeakable – yet always there to be discovered by those with the heart to do the work.

With our time and presence we give love. Simple.

the next stage is always the most difficult

in a state of grace and with a sense of wonder

there's always more than meets the eye

Appropriated to life, we are drawn out into mystery, 

must cleave to what unfurls in attention

Faith is the inescapable ground I relax and release into, a sinking that demands the divine lift of hope. I am then suspended in equilibrium, hovering between my own disappearing and the universe which is drawing me ever out of myself. This shimmering equilibrium we call love.

the promise of death is imperative to live

It was his compassion that made him rebellious.

from speed and noise 

a strategic withdrawal 

from conformity and self-interest 

an abstention

from conspicuous consumption 

an absolute retreat

Regardless of how much information you gather from teachers and teachings, you still have to discover it all for yourself through practice. Otherwise you're just a bag of wind.

I try to plant myself where I am and embrace what is there in front of me.

Attend the space you inhabit. Listen on as many levels as possible but especially the energetic. Ignore the chatter.

To die well – embrace death – first make peace.

Much of our deep tension – the stuff that seems impossible to shift – we voluntarily institute to maintain separation between subject and object, world and self. We assume this to be the price of admission to the human.

The enlightened master is transparent.

By sitting you are saying: Here I Am.

I am more authentic when I put the Other first. Our work hinges on this insight.

Commune with the gods. Learn the language of spirit.