Softness

John once said to me, "Progress at Tai Chi is a series of going-back-to-square-ones". This is because progress in Tai Chi is not really an accumulative thing, not in the sense of accumulating postures or techniques anyway. It is instead a series of major shifts in your energy and openings in your heart - breakthroughs - brought about by pressure applied by your teacher and your daily practice. Like a series of dams bursting. Wash-outs of old strength. When you break through there can be a feeling of relief, but often there are feelings of unease and discomfort as well, like you're in a strange place, or you don't quite know yourself anymore. One thing is for sure though, after each breakthrough you will be softer than before. Back in Wimpole Street days my teacher often used to point students out to me in a class and say, "That person's Tai Chi has improved". If ever I asked what he meant by that he always said, "They're softer". Softness, if you like, is a measure of your ability to be with others, to abide in peace. Real softness, to me anyway, is the most beautiful and seductive of qualities. It yields and surrounds at the same time. It gives way and seeps and penetrates. It attracts, lingers, enjoys, transforms and consumes. It is a feminine quality and is the dominant feeling in the universe. As human beings we have had to struggle very hard to create masculine environments devoid of it. Women flourish and blossom in its presence - it is in their nature. Men are nourished and nurtured by it and at the same time are put on their mettle by it - there is danger in the air - if they're not careful they will be drawn in too deep and be lost. Softness stimulates a man to be at his best. Soft, light and round - the three most important qualities in Tai Chi.

The tragedy of modern society is that it fails to value qualities such as softness. Most of the truly soft people I have known (less than a handful) have felt their softness to be a curse because it is often accompanied by unbearable sensitivity and victimization. The softest student I ever taught, a beautiful Polish girl of 21, killed herself because it was all just too much. It is so important for soft people to find something like the work we do, something that values their quality above all others, and something that will help them become strong without becoming hard. It is also the greatest asset for a Tai Chi student to find a soft person with whom to push-hands. They will acquire softness through osmosis.