I have remembered the context in which my teacher's wonderful phrase "inner viciousness" originally cropped up. I had made the observation that although Tai Chi is meant to be a method for "forgetting self to become one with the Tao", in my experience many students just use it as a way of settling more strongly and confidently into their own conditioning. John agreed with me and added that to use Tai Chi as a spiritual tool requires real inner viciousness because you need to be constantly thrusting yourself into unknown territory, constantly allowing your confidence to be shaken to its foundations so that those foundations can shift and reassemble in the image of the teaching. To do this you must honestly and unconditionally listen to the teaching, and not just take on board those aspects that appeal and conform to you. The teaching is a complete package and any attempts, conscious or otherwise, to filter or interpret will limit your progress. As my teacher would say, "Just grit your teeth and take the medicine".
The Classics of Tai Chi, and many other spiritual texts, famously state that if the work is even slightly misdirected then the end result will be far from the mark. The student's efforts will always be a little off, so constant regulating feedback is required to make the adjustments necessary to come back on track. This brings to mind another Tai Chi adage, "Learning Tai Chi is easy, but taking correction is difficult". You must practice enthusiastically and whole-heartedly knowing that what you're doing is imperfect and requires correction. This is easy once you realise that the perfection in Tai Chi is a matter of heart rather than form, and that it is this perfection and heart that brings to light both the need for correction, and the grace of the correction itself. This is immensely reassuring, the fact that love does indeed conquer all. The inner viciousness required is not a blinkered determination: the putting of more energy and effort in the same direction, which is how I interpreted it at the time, but the courage and softness to be open to the grace of correction that is constantly befalling you. Is all your teacher really does is give you a technique for opening to this, which is actually just an aspect of your own essence and karma.
If you don't have regular access to your teacher then it is vital to gather a group of like minded comrades with whom to practice. It is the partner work you do that nourishes the learning process by working on your heart. This will manifest later, and usually unconsciously, in adjustments in your posture and Form. Make every effort to engage your partner, not just in conversation but energetically by involving them in the circuit of energy that flows down your back and legs, under the ground, up through their feet, legs and body and out of their head, over the top and back through your own head. It is very important for the development of your humanity that your energy circulates not just within your own structure but between you and other entities. I have known students with beautifully vertical postures, wonderfully connected to the earth and the heavens but remote from others. A good ward-off (hollow chest rounded shoulders) should always at least threaten to degrade a suspended head and pull you forwards. It is the subtle dynamic tension between things that generates energy and interest.
The Classics of Tai Chi, and many other spiritual texts, famously state that if the work is even slightly misdirected then the end result will be far from the mark. The student's efforts will always be a little off, so constant regulating feedback is required to make the adjustments necessary to come back on track. This brings to mind another Tai Chi adage, "Learning Tai Chi is easy, but taking correction is difficult". You must practice enthusiastically and whole-heartedly knowing that what you're doing is imperfect and requires correction. This is easy once you realise that the perfection in Tai Chi is a matter of heart rather than form, and that it is this perfection and heart that brings to light both the need for correction, and the grace of the correction itself. This is immensely reassuring, the fact that love does indeed conquer all. The inner viciousness required is not a blinkered determination: the putting of more energy and effort in the same direction, which is how I interpreted it at the time, but the courage and softness to be open to the grace of correction that is constantly befalling you. Is all your teacher really does is give you a technique for opening to this, which is actually just an aspect of your own essence and karma.
If you don't have regular access to your teacher then it is vital to gather a group of like minded comrades with whom to practice. It is the partner work you do that nourishes the learning process by working on your heart. This will manifest later, and usually unconsciously, in adjustments in your posture and Form. Make every effort to engage your partner, not just in conversation but energetically by involving them in the circuit of energy that flows down your back and legs, under the ground, up through their feet, legs and body and out of their head, over the top and back through your own head. It is very important for the development of your humanity that your energy circulates not just within your own structure but between you and other entities. I have known students with beautifully vertical postures, wonderfully connected to the earth and the heavens but remote from others. A good ward-off (hollow chest rounded shoulders) should always at least threaten to degrade a suspended head and pull you forwards. It is the subtle dynamic tension between things that generates energy and interest.
No comments
Post a Comment