01 August 2005

Transformation

Is the name of the game. And connexion. To transform into a better connector.

The Chinese talk about transformations: transforming work into ch'i, ch'i into spirit, etc. However, my teacher's interest is in the between-energy. The spark of connexion between entities. One can call it spirit but it is really more than spirit because it goes with an opening and working of the heart. Love? Spending time with my teacher's dying cat (she is 18 and has cancer and only a week or so to live) my heart naturally opens and feels pain. Part of me shrinks from this and thinks, "We should take her to the vet and end her misery", and yet when I leave her company I feel less than I did whilst I was with her: her company and my consequent connexion with her and her suffering (they are inseparable) makes me more human and more alive. She is very frail and finds breathing difficult yet she connects better now than she ever did partly because she doesn't have the energy to resist and partly because she naturally opens my heart and makes me better able to connect with her. I am the deficient one, not she. She transforms me into a better person, at least whilst I'm with her*. This is the reality that we students of heartwork need to open to and become aware of. One can do all the strength training, ch'i kung, Tai Chi and spiritual exercises in the world and still be unable to connect and transform.

On a practical level it is important to exercise and get some mobility into the three hearts - the one in the chest and the ones in the belly (sacrum) and head (mid to back brain). We do this using gentle figure of eight movements. It is then necessary to interact energetically with your colleagues. Pushing-hands wont do it, the energy isn't good enough, it doesn't vibrate. The exchanges need to be far more charged (more like real attacks) with no holding back, only then will the workings of the heart be visibly effective. Real interactions are going to produce real emotions. You will feel more alive and will realise that the reason for this is that your heart has worked, opened and connected. This sort of connexion is with everything. Your energy will fill the room and even inanimate objects will come alive. You will waken to the fact that everything touches and affects - transforms. There can only be objectivity when we actively force the world to be a collection of unconnected objects - when we withdraw our hearts. When we do this the thinking mind often comes to the fore. When the heart is present there is no need or room for thought. When the heart withdraws, for whatever reason, we are disheartened and lose sight of the reality of everything touches. These are the times when we need the courage and belief to actively search out hearty connexions and not suffer in silence. Life connects. Death disconnects. Whilst there is still life, no matter how tenuous, the energy of connexion is present. In primitive societies disheartenment would be very rare because as well as there being the constant society of friends and family to tease the withdrawing heart out again, these peoples tend to have world views which teach the divinity and connexion of all things*. This is what we need: heartwork as the foundation and fabric of our society. A new mythopoeia. A permanent revolution.


* Because connexion is all she has left the thing she loves now more than anything is company, more specifically she likes you to sit with your head the same level as hers, looking into her eyes with your hands on her body. The energy conversations that go on between us are remarkable and very affecting. Makes me realise how limited language is as a tool for communication, it gets things across but it also keeps a distance and gives us an excuse to be insensitive to other more intimate aspects of communication.

* I remember Archbishop Trevor Huddleston saying that when he moved from missionary work in Tanzania to take over the parish of Stepney in east London he was struck by how materially rich the working-class Londoners were compared to the Tanzanian tribes people and yet how deprived they were of love and connexion.

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