05 October 2005

Softness

The great conundrum of Tai Chi. Of life in fact. If softness were just a light touch then life would be so much simpler. One could just practice sensitivity. However, softness isn’t just a light touch. It is an entering, insinuating, seeping life energy that transforms as it goes/gives. It is an expression of a consuming interest and passion for the basic need of any living being – the need for connexion. It is an expression of your compassion.
Most creatures show softness at least some of the time, the most obvious time being when they are with their young. An enlightened being shows softness all the time, even when they’re being hard. For a truly soft being, hardness is just an intensity of energy that in no way means the withdrawal of their compassion – it just means they mean business. The best examples I can think of are cats. They’re certainly far better at it than humans. For a non-enlightened being hardness is the withdrawal of their compassion – selfishness. You don’t need to touch (or be touched by) a hard person to know that they are hard. When a selfish person tries to become soft without addressing the problem of their selfishness then they become sly - they use their intelligence to give the impression of softness, which is in fact just another expression of their hardness – their lack of compassion. This is a great strain and will lead nowhere. Most students of Tai Chi get it wrong at least to start with: they misunderstand what softness is. It took me 17 years to twig. At that point my teacher said to me, "Ah, now you’re ready to begin." Most students I know haven’t begun. They’re still aimlessly wandering around in the wilderness refusing to see what’s been staring them in the face ever since they were born. I suspect that the big insight people need to have before they can see what is truly there, is that the way they are is purely their own doing and their own responsibility. No matter how harsh your upbringing and your conditioning, it has been your response to that that has produced what you are now, not the circumstances themselves. Another person having exactly the same experiences would have turned out very differently. When you realise this, that the only thing reasonably to blame for your present state is yourself, then (after you’ve got over the shock) you are empowered because you realise that with a change of focus and emphasis, brought about through correct teaching, it can all be put right, by you (assuming you're willing to do the work). You have to believe this otherwise it’s all hopeless.

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