The Warrior Heart

The more time I spend with my teacher the more I realize that the strength he has developed through his work, which is considerable, is simply the strength to let go and become the connexions that inform and define him. In fact holding on isn't an option for him nowadays, and being a passionate Irishman I'm not sure it ever was. If ever there was a man ruled and directed by the heart it is he. What this means for his energy is that it is always out there interacting and interfering – involving. Nothing is held back. One of the tenets of his teaching is that if something is interesting and seems to work then do it all the time. This is why the energy he would use to strike a deadly blow is exactly the same energy he would use to heal another or even to stroke his beloved cats. As far as he is concerned there is only one thing – the connexion – and what passes along that connexion depends totally on heart. It's the difference between using heart and spirit to direct the energy. Spirit is the vital spark within – the Chinese call it spirit of vitality – which unifies and coordinates your faculties and allows you to operate effectively, potently and satisfyingly. However, it is still a tool of the self, and having a good strong spirit does not imply that you are any more egoless than the average person. The martial arts world is littered with masters with terrific and terrifying spirit. Their spirits have given them a reactive sensitivity which regards the other with respect but without compassion – without passion. The respectful distance. Consequently their martial spirit is not something they can really bring into the family home or practice at all times – there are many (most) situations in which it is inappropriate. Heart is about being open and vulnerable enough to broach and bridge the respectful distance – in fact not allowing it to develop in the first place. Having so much feeling for the other that they were never apart from you. This is something that can absolutely be practised everywhere, especially with family – your nearest and dearest. And like everything, the more you practice the better you get – the more refined and subtle become your interactions and the more you begin to become aware of those deeper levels which are all heart and which, given a chance, will work all the time for you. Satisfaction – which implies a withdrawal into self after the experience is over – doesn't really come into it. Partly because the experience is open ended – is never over – and partly because withdrawal is not an option. Rather like an Emily Dickinson poem which ends with an unresolved non-rhyme and a dash (—), leaving the heart even more open and aching than it was at the beginning.

The heart gushes. When it's working well it feels like it's more with the other than it is with you. It doesn't let up. There is no distance. Last time I was in Ireland I was introduced to someone who had cancer. Surprisingly (for me) I saw his illness as a black cloud hanging over him and I was fascinated by what I saw and felt. It was only after he left that I realized what my teacher would have done in such a situation. Being the consummate warrior he would have instantly engaged the blackness in battle – he would have leapt in, engaged the person in hearty and uplifting conversation and banished the blackness from his presence. For him healing has nothing to do with wanting to help people, or with doing good, but simply with not being able to tolerate any negativity in his presence because he knows that given half a chance it'll start to attack him and he knows from experience that the only way to deal with the enemy is to strike first. Certainly not to stand by and observe. The heart is overwhelmingly active, so much so that it cannot be resisted, by you least of all.