Breathing

Why are we here? What a question! And in a sense even posing it indicates that I am not here – or not here as fully as I could and should be. Spiritual and meditation practices – especially those from the East – strive for the discipline of full presence. Our true loving and compassionate nature floods everything we are, everything we do and everything we touch when, and only when, we have full presence: here now, in this body, of this place, at this time. Suffering comes from thinking we have a choice – allowing ourselves the possibility of something else. Thinking happens when our engagement with the now slackens – when our mind wanders from here to somewhere over there. Distraction is the product of anxiety – low grade, but chronic fear. Anxiety arises from feelings of inadequacy – when I feel I have responsibility above and beyond that of simple presence – when I feel I have something to maintain and defend: family, property, dogma, ego, etc, or when I feel I need more than I have. How on Earth do we cut through all this shit? Actually it is very easy. What spiritual practitioners have found from the beginnings of time, is that when we drift from full presence the breathing changes – it becomes erratic, more shallow, and often stops for moments, especially moments of distraction (slackness) or excessive concentration (hardness). So we practice presence, and slowly build the power of presence, by becoming conscious of our breathing at all times. If we are with our breath then we cannot be with our thoughts. In yoga they say the breath is the bridge between the mind and the body. My body – my physical aspect – is the little part of reality that is truly mine, but it must be claimed and inhabited, and this is what full presence is all about, initially anyway. Gradually, with practice, the breathing changes: the in-breath doesn't just bring in fresh air it brings in energy from all around and into all of the body, and my out-breath doesn't just expel stale air but it gives of my energy and essence. So when I look at that flower my eyes see a beautiful object and my nose smells a wonderful aroma but my conscious breathing receives the essence – the presence – of the flower, and gives to the flower my own presence – my own essence. This is real communication and it clearly has nothing to do with words. In fact when words come in – when we speak – the breathing suffers because we breathe out longer than we breathe in – we basically stop listening. When we get into conscious breathing we begin to realise that the power of presence is the ability to communicate essence to essence. The senses lie because they only pick up the appearance of things, whereas what my body absorbs when it is truly present is the nature of things. Often, when we try to be alert and vigilant, we stop breathing because we feel the noise and movement of our breathing to be a distraction. As soon as we do this we only have sensory information to rely on because we have stopped being fully in and with the body. When I practice conscious breathing I don't listen with my ears, or look with my eyes, or smell with my nose, but with my presence. To practice conscious breathing we don't need to sit or to have correct posture or to do anything special – we just need to breathe and to gradually become aware of how the breathing affects us, physically, emotionally and spiritually. The body then becomes a vibrant and fully alive part of the world – what Olson called "a fit instrument for use."