Guilt – that feeling that things ain't the way they should be because of me – stems from lack of faith. A loving god cannot remain transcendent: their first true act of compassion is to become immanent to that which they love. To love (live) and remain aloof is to theorise love (life). The true lover loves that the Other's demand for love snaps them out of a selfish space and into the messy space of practical relationship, and thereby out of hell and onto the path to heaven. I cannot love and hope to keep my hands clean. To wash my hands, even publicly, cannot absolve me of the responsibility to act creatively, that is selflessly, with breathtaking abandon, and thereby love. Guilt is my punishment for refusing the gift of faith, of forwards.