When you look at it, and the only way to move on is by looking at it, seeing the truth of the situation, the only reason we don't engage fully with things, with the intensity we are capable of when at our best, is self-pity: the awful, lingering slackness of indulged reflection, simply for the sake of justifying our own weakness, laziness. I agree totally with the Hasidim: our first responsibility to God, and therefore to our own spirit, our own better self, is to be happy, and this means to let out a constant stream of intense energy, engaging the immediate in a grip of power and transformation. As my teacher used to say: You are always at least 50% responsible for every situation you find yourself in. So just make sure that 50% is your best.