When my son was a little boy we once walked past a pub in Camden. Max stopped, peered inside and then announced:
"Dad, when I'm older, I'm going to drink beer, smoke cigarettes and eat meat!"
"That's fine Max," I replied, "when you leave home you can do whatever you want."
I sensed a moment of panic, after which he said:
"Oh no dad, I'm always going to live with mummy!"


We want to change, at least in theory, but we also want that change on our own terms – we want to be designers of our own destinies. But this misses the point of change. Real change changes everything; if you change then you're different on all levels. Superficial change (what I call a change of scenery or rearranging the furniture) is actually a way of alleviating the pressure for real change. It allows you to appear to change, and yet remain exactly the same.