19 November 2005

Fighting the good fight

The warrior is just someone who stands and fights. Of course she's not stupid, so if there's no possibility of victory she'll skulk away in order to train like mad and come back another day. However, she knows that nothing of importance can be avoided. If she turns her back on any problem, no matter how slight, she knows it'll eventually catch up with her and possibly cause her death. The teacher's job is to behave as the Dao – to force the student to face up to their most important problems – the one's that are holding back spiritual progress. This is why the teacher's presence and company is often so unbearable and seemingly noxious: because it encourages the enemy within to rear its snarling head and it becomes associated with that enemy in the student's mind. There was a time when I would start to feel physically sick if my teacher approached me. “Oh no, here we go again,” I'd think to myself, quickly filling with dread. My teacher, ever the consummate yielder would feel my apprehension and offer me sympathy and consolation, just enough for my guard to drop and for me to start reprimanding myself for thinking so ill of him, and then he'd hit me with a gentle but pointed observation on my progress or lack of it, steeped of course with quite a vicious energy, and suddenly all the fears and doubts would come flooding back with a vengeance, and I'd have another week or month of hell and torture facing up to them. Now there is no need for any comments – the presence and the energy are enough, and this is an important point: the beauty, softness and affecting nature of his energy is enough to reveal my own inadequacies – his energy disarms. If you don't feel your defences (your strength) ebbing away in the presence of your teacher then you're wasting your time studying with them. If the teacher makes you feel good about yourself – more full of confidence and swagger then either they're not teaching from a valid lineage (that is, they have received no transmission of energy themselves – they have nothing of importance to teach) or you're not treating them with the proper respect and reverence, or they're building you up for some almighty fall in the near future. The teacher is never a friend. They are your teacher and the relationship you have with them is unique and powerful. They are by far the most important person in your life. If you think your children or your spouse or your friends are more important to you then again you're wasting your time, or rather your progress will be limited, that is it'll eventually stop. "Friendship is the refuge of the lazy heart," my teacher said to me a few days ago, and shocking though this statement is, if you think about it you'll come to realise it is pointedly true. The teacher cannot fight the enemy for you, that is your job, and through it you'll gain the strength to hone your attentions to the jewel in your heart. The student needs the teacher until she understands this process of learning and has the courage to face her fear alone.

1 comment

Karen Puerta and Tim Walker said...

The lucky ones are those like John, who've been able to devote their whole life to their passion without doing the family thing.

But how many damaged adults are wandering around now because someone who started the family thing then decided they wanted to devote themselves to spiritual enlightenment and went off to find themselves - leaving their family in the lurch. If the relationship is badly wrong then that's different because it would probably be more damaging for the children to stay in it.

That is why I can't see that your teacher is de facto the most important person in your life if you have a family. You have to put your family first. Your commitment to them came first. Maybe when they've flown - and your life is your own again - then yes, your teacher can be the most important person.