Love and healing

Tension is a clinging to the old story. To leave behind the tension once and for all we need to see the story fully and clearly for what it is: past history, no longer needed, and we need to make a conscious and determined decision to let it go. Such decisions are all part of the process of reclaiming life from the clutches of conditioning. The irony is that such stories are not really our own in the first place – they are inherited. Our own stories are readily processed and assimilated by the process of living, unless the early inheritance has blocked our ability to properly engage with life, which is more than likely. The most insidious inherited conditioning is the tainted or loaded love of our parents. Such love is generally, on some level, conditional, and often amounts to emotional blackmail in its desire to control rather than fully support. For example, the parent who gives the message: “If you are good and well then I will be happy, but if you are not good or unwell then I will worry.” Such a message is far from a loving one but it is the usual one we are presented with as children, which is not surprising because it is exactly the same as the one the state gives its citizens. Such an attitude may effectively control the child but in the process it robs her of the necessary spiritual equipment to engage with life because it gives the message that all support is conditional and therefore all trust should be too. This is the level on which we need to be looking at our past – not at the traumas but the very early programming that made us perceive those experiences as traumas. When we begin to look at our past on this level we often realise that the parent who seemed to love us the most and the best is the one who shaped, controlled and limited our ability to receive and give love on any terms other than their own. And what is worse is that that love, given in the first weeks and months (if not hours and days) of our birth, is still controlling and limiting our engagement with life. This is the “love” that created the cage we live inside. So how do we begin to break free of this cage? Intellectual understanding is only the start – it in no way indicates that the work has been done or has even begun. Such early wounds can only be healed with love. Understanding lets you see the wounds and feel the infliction, but the loving still needs to be done. What allows the healing is the fact that love is not bound by time or space, and that true unconditional love (totally trusting energetic connexion) is boundless on all levels. So, for example, when I love my new baby, if I do it well, then I also love all babies – my love generalizes – I can feel it happen. Not only that, I also start to love the baby in each adult, and what's more I love the baby in myself – I love myself as a baby: my love for her begins to retrospectively heal myself as the baby. This is the most powerful positive feedback loop in existence. It is why the universe, especially the human universe, succeeds. And what is it that inspires me to love beyond my conditioned capabilities? It is, of course, her total trust and purity – her beauty if you like (her truth). It is easy to see that a strong stable support can inspire total trust, but total trust can also inspire a support (love) that leaps miraculously beyond itself. This is why belief before the proof is so much more powerful than a belief that requires proof. One leaps into the unknown and the other plants itself firmly in the known.