If connexion's the be all and end all then I need to be constantly aroused: ready to fuck. Or, to put it less crudely, so ready to give and receive that my arousal wills exchange.
A useful sensitivity isn't so much feeling myself as the world bears in on me, but feeling the world as I bear into it. The former personifies the world – forces what I feel to my own image – I feel myself in everything. The latter and I join what's there on its own terms – I abandon falsehood in search of the truth.
The real world is the one of connexion – the one we enter into when our energy extends beyond our physical and mental boundaries and we begin to prowl. Connectedness is a natural state but one we inhibit and repress with our fear-based tensions and anxieties: our insistence that we are something special. This repression becomes depression and we have the malaise of the average person: ostensibly content, reasonably happy, but beneath the well-behaved veneer, seething with frustration. This is the frustration of denial: wanting – needing – connexion at every level, and not getting it.
Connexion is everything, and the more I practice the more this fact is at the forefront of my awareness. The connexion – its establishment and nurturing – motivates and governs every action I make and every emotion I feel. At this level it is not the waist nor any other part of me that moves the body, it is the connexion itself – the energy of and in the connexion. I simply serve and support the connexion; and the ensuing communication.